i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
