I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize