Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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