Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Also, beer. Big fan.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
