she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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