you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
