a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
