You can't motorboat a personality
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just found puke in my bra..
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
