i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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