I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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