do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
sarcasm needs its own font
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
