i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
