The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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