Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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