I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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