How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Do vagina's smell?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
