In the future we'll all be gay
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize