Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
did i just pee glitter
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one