he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?