Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.