Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She'll never know what hit her

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.

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  (703): She'll never know what hit her (1-703): I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact. http://tfl.nu/fbuf
  Replies (2) Good night (1721) Bad night (576)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.

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  (613): he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/9esh
  Replies (58) Good night (737) Bad night (11462)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  go home

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  (347): we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy (203): go home http://tfl.nu/91uo
  Replies (28) Good night (6939) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive

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  (609): imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive http://tfl.nu/r061
  Replies (50) Good night (4104) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.

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  (516): i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik. http://tfl.nu/oo49
  Replies (14) Good night (4186) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.

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  (702): I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know. http://tfl.nu/ro3k
  Replies (68) Good night (9484) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.

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  (610): I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning. http://tfl.nu/50tz
  Replies (26) Good night (6619) Bad night (968)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.

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  (314): Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one. http://tfl.nu/fj7c
  Replies (7) Good night (8685) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."

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  (602): The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..." http://tfl.nu/m7yq
  Replies (12) Good night (3312) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.

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  (703): I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin. http://tfl.nu/zjl9
  Replies (6) Good night (3446) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.

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  (630): Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad. http://tfl.nu/cvju
  Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (1690)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.

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  (785): Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage. http://tfl.nu/6qi6
  Replies (17) Good night (1203) Bad night (1767)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Let's drink?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.

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  (319): Let's drink? (1-319): Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/5wza
  Replies (5) Good night (1672) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!

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  (937): Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would! http://tfl.nu/dkq8
  Replies (8) Good night (745) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.

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  (202): As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap. http://tfl.nu/n79z
  Replies (19) Good night (1301) Bad night (316)

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