I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
