Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.

Fav 9 1411 3941
share tweet
(336): View more from North Carolina

i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance

Fav 10 6635 1644
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(312): View more from Illinois

just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.

Fav 15 1734 3876
share tweet
(626): View more from California

I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"

Fav 9 1909 4798
share tweet
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
Read it at the TFLN blog
(757): View more from Virginia

so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?

Fav 7 3174 1114
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?

Fav 9 2566 1024
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(218): View more from Minnesota

We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.

Fav 7 2234 978
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(701): View more from North Dakota

I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"

Fav 2 1230 616
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.

Fav 3 64 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT