I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
