Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Are you dead

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  Yes

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Oh man

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): Are you dead (1-260): Yes (260): Oh man (1-260): Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard http://tfl.nu/iien
  Replies (7) Good night (3271) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight. http://tfl.nu/a6ne
  Replies (4) Good night (900) Bad night (2195)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): 3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4. http://tfl.nu/2tep
  Replies (16) Good night (7614) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask. http://tfl.nu/in4y
  Replies (14) Good night (4796) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is. http://tfl.nu/bxv0
  Replies (7) Good night (4766) Bad night (1764)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight. http://tfl.nu/prjm
  Replies (5) Good night (2245) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned. http://tfl.nu/dk6w
  Replies (18) Good night (3002) Bad night (1991)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won http://tfl.nu/r5as
  Replies (6) Good night (3648) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record? http://tfl.nu/se6e
  Replies (6) Good night (1790) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people http://tfl.nu/medo
  Replies (1) Good night (1032) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada. http://tfl.nu/kq1p
  Replies (5) Good night (386) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm in love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot. (630): I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/l0w2
  Replies (3) Good night (1599) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor" http://tfl.nu/zwwk
  Replies (5) Good night (389) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix" http://tfl.nu/tav0
  Replies (0) Good night (399) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000 http://tfl.nu/u3g9
  Replies (3) Good night (547) Bad night (289)

Randomize