Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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