Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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