I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
