I wanna passion pit in your ass
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
