what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
