like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
