Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Randomize
