I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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