Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
