Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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