My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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