i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
All I want is dick and wine.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize