the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
