Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize