i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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