I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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