He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize