Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
