I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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