Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Im part way to drunk.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
