Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
