I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
