If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
