Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize