i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
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I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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