Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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