There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
North Korea, Best Korea!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
