So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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