Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You smell like stripper and shame
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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