please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Randomize
