it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
