the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
