I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
