Pappa wants mamma naked
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Randomize
