do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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