i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
