If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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