once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
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Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
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I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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