At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
