i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
