Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
This is my gift to your gina
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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